Working With Nathaniel Is Going To Be Fine!
by A Whisper Of Grace
Summary: Rebecca and Nathaniel struggle with their new work dynamic while also trying to deny their mutual attraction. It doesn't work so well. Post 3x10.
1. Chapter 1

Stopping outside her office, Rebecca closed her eyes, her hand hovering over the handle. "Today is going to be a normal day," she said under her breath. "A regular, normal, not-weird day." Taking a deep breath in, she opened her eyes and stepped into the room.

And stopped again when she saw Nathaniel sitting behind his desk, watching her. He raised his eyebrows when he saw that she'd noticed him. "I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to come in," he said mildly.

Because of course he'd been watching her psych herself up for the day. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, Rebecca walked over to her desk and put her bag down. "I didn't realise you'd be in yet," she said nonchalantly.

Nathaniel looked up at her skeptically. "You do realise that I'm here before you every day, right?"

"Yeah, well... yeah."

Slowly, she sat down at her desk, and after a long moment opened her laptop. She logged in, opened her emails, glanced up at Nathaniel - and found his eyes still on her. She looked away quickly, unable to stop her mind from turning to the last time they'd been in this room together. In his chair together. All over his desk together –

"Nope, this is too weird," she said, closing her laptop screen pushing back from her desk. "I can't do this without coffee."

"Rebecca, wait," he started but she ignored him, practically running to the break room. Not running from him, no. Just needing coffee. Yep, that was all it was.

There was only so much time she could spend making coffee, however. As much as she would normally be totally on board with the idea of avoiding both Nathaniel and work at the same time, she had a new responsibility as the senior partner of the firm to, you know, actually do some work.

That would be easier if she hadn't decided to make his office their office.

He put down the file he was holding when she walked back into their shared room, shutting down her hope that they could just ignore each other. Sighing heavily, she trudged over to her desk and sat back down, opening her laptop again and making a show of pressing a lot of keys. "I have a lot of important work to do," she said matter-of-factly.

"Well that's a first," he said, then tossed the file onto the desk, leaning back in his chair. "Look, Rebecca. I'm not going to sit across from you every day and be awkward about this. We did it, sure, but we agreed last night that it's never going to happen again. So...?"

The memories from last night tried to force themselves on her again - it was _right there_ that - nope, she wasn't going to think about it. Taking a deep breath, she put her hands on the desk and made herself look at him directly. "It's not going to happen again," she said firmly. "And it doesn't have to be awkward." He smiled at her faintly, and she felt herself relax. "You're in a happy relationship, I'm working on myself, and we're absolutely not going to do it again. Here or anywhere else," she said, glancing at his desk where, just a few hours ago, she'd been riding him like her life had depended on it, his hands holding her so tightly that she could still feel the bruises his fingers had left on her thighs if she shifted in her seat too much.

Fuck.

She looked up at him again and saw his eyes on the same space she'd just been staring, his Adam's apple moving up and down, and she suppressed a shiver at the distracted look on his face, his mouth slightly open. After a moment he gave himself a shake and she looked away, knowing she'd be entirely screwed if she met his eyes just then. "It's going to be fine," he said, clearing his throat and shuffling around the papers on his desk.

Yeah. Totally fine.

Groaning loudly, Rebecca pulled her pillow over her head as the knocking at her door grew louder and more incessant. She could sleep through it, she knew she could, whoever it was would give up soon –

"Rebecca! I know you're in there!"

Because who else would show up at her house and try to knock her damn door down? At least he was knocking at her front door and not her bedroom. Boundaries, right?

Pushing down an urge to kill, Rebecca forced herself from the bed and threw the pillow down onto it. Knowing that she had no chance of getting back to sleep now, she scrubbed at her face with her hands to wake herself up more fully as she strode to the door.

The moment she had it open Nathaniel stormed in, pushing past her into the house. "Care to tell me why the hell no one is at work right now?"

Rolling her eyes, Rebecca closed the door and turned to face him. "Um, because it's a Saturday."

His eyebrows shot up, his eyes widened. "You know I told everyone that they had to work today!"

"Yes, but it's Tim's birthday, and everyone's going to Raging Waters and - oh." She grimaced. "Are you upset that no one invited you? We all thought you'd had your fill of the place in those ten germ-filled minutes you were there last time, but if you liked it that much I'm sure they won't mind if you go."

"And what's your excuse then?" he asked, looking her up and down pointedly. She felt suddenly self-conscious in the oversized shirt that she wore to bed, but she certainly wasn't going to show him that. He didn't need to know that she wasn't wearing any underwear right now. Except the idea of him knowing that she wasn't wearing any underwear made her feel suddenly hot all over. "Why aren't you at work?"

She wasn't going to let him get to her. Rebecca put her hands on her hips. "Well first of all, you're not the boss of me, like figuratively _or_ literally, so you don't really get to ask me that. And secondly, I _was_ going to go to Raging Waters because, obviously, but I woke up with a headache so I stayed in bed." She cocked her head, taking stock of herself. No headache, only frustration and irritation. And Raging Waters _would_ be the best fix for that. "But now that I think about it I'm actually feeling a lot better so maybe I will -"

Nathaniel groaned loudly, interrupting her and aggravating her further. "And what about that brief that everyone is supposed to be working on today?"

"We'll get that done on Monday."

"It's _due_ on Monday!"

Rebecca scoffed. "Yeah, Monday afternoon. I could do it myself on Monday. It will be done on Monday."

Nathaniel shook his head, pulling his phone from his pocket. "No, it will be done today. I don't care where they are – they're going in to work today, and so are you."

"No – no –" Rebecca reached out and grabbed his phone, jumping out of his grasp when he reached after her. "You can't do that!" She was backing away from him, keeping his phone from him, but stopped and squared off against him when she realised what she was doing. She was going to stand her ground, damn it. How dare he think he could keep ruining these people's plans and weekends and birthdays? "You can't just keep contradicting me and… and undermining me in front of my staff!"

"Me?" He laughed, but his voice was filled with bitterness and sarcasm. "Me, undermining _you?_ _You're_ the one who went behind my back and undermined _my_ orders for today."

His _orders?_ She screwed her face up. "Yeah, because I'm the _boss_ and I can do that, Mr _Minority Owner_."

"Oh yeah, real nice," he said, stepping up close to her. She had to crane her neck to meet his eye, and she scowled up at him, cursing his height. "Rub it in my face how you _stole_ the firm out from under me, sure."

"Yeah, after you stole it from Darryl!" She threw her hands up in exasperation, then snatched them back when he reached for his phone, twisting her body to keep her hand out of his reach.

"This is not about Darryl," he snarled. He followed her smoothly, remaining just a few inches away from her. She could practically feel the frustration radiating from him.

"Oh yeah? Then what –"

She cut off with a gasp – or was cut off, when Nathaniel surged toward her and covered her mouth with his, pressing his lips hard against hers and suddenly she was unable to think of anything else but the way he tasted, the way his lips and tongue moved with hers. She kissed him back without even thinking about it, without even hesitating, dropping his phone to wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him down and further into her. His hands settled on her hips, his thumbs digging into her sides as he pulled her body close and she pressed against him obligingly, unnaturally turned on at the thought of him standing there, fully dressed in his suit while she wore only her long, thin shirt and nothing else.

Even so, she pushed his jacket off his shoulders, wanting to be closer to him that his stupid jacket allowed. He slid one arm around her waist, holding her tightly to him while the other smoothed over her hip, down over her ass, and when he tugged up her skirt and palmed her bare ass she grabbed onto his tie and pulled him back down to her, smothering his groan with her mouth. He shifted his grip on her and lifted her up, her legs going around his waist automatically, and suddenly there was nothing but his hands, his mouth, and the evidence of his want pressing right up against her between her legs.

Somehow they made it across the room, and then the kitchen counter was cold and hard on her bare skin. He tried to move back but she tightened her legs around him, rolling her hips against him and she leaned back to catch the way his eyes fluttered closed as she rubbed herself against him, his stuttered moan sending a shiver through her. He ground himself against her then pulled his hips away suddenly, his brow furrowing. "Fuck… you," he said between breaths, pushing his hand between her legs, his fingers slipping between her folds and no, she didn't miss the way his jaw clenched when his fingers slid so easily inside of her. She didn't care that she was so wet, or what that said for the two of them or their stupid argument, all she could focus on was the slow, steady movement of his fingers inside of her.

Leaning back on the counter, she angled her hips up, desperate to get as much friction as she could, moaning when his thumb pressed against her clit and rubbed in slow, infuriating circles. "Fuck you," she gasped, throwing back her head and riding his hand as best she could.

" _Fuck._ " His hand came around the back of her neck and tightened in her hair, pulling her forward and then he was kissing her again and oh god, she never wanted this to end. When his hand moved from her head she wanted to stay close to him so she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts firmly against his chest, wishing she could feel his bare skin against her bare skin but also still insanely turned on at the thought that he was still so fully dressed, so formal and proper. Well mostly – she ran her hand through his hair just to mess it up.

When he pulled his hand away from her and stepped back she was ready to protest, ready to fight, but the protest died on her lips when she saw him pulling a condom from his wallet. Leaning forward, she undid his belt and his pants while he opened the small packet, and couldn't help but grin when she put her hand into his underwear, wrapped it around his cock and felt him shudder all through his body. His throat was working as though he was trying to say something, but it was cut off by a moan when she tightened her fingers around him.

She laughed quietly under her breath at his reaction, and apparently that was too much for him. His hand grabbed her wrist and pulled hers away from him, pulling it behind her and forcing her to lean back on the counter, then both of his hands were on her hips, tugging her forward so she sat on the very edge of the cold bench. She spread her legs wider and then he was between them, pressing himself against her and then, oh, oh, _yes._

He entered her slowly but that was her only respite, pulling back and then thrusting into her so quickly that she was soon breathless and struggling to keep up. But fuck it if she wasn't going to try. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she trusted his hands on her hips and her ass to keep her from falling off the bench and rocked against him, meeting him thrust for thrust and she was so worked up from his hands on her before that she was sure that she'd get off just from that alone if she needed to.

But of course she didn't need to, not with him. She _hated_ how well he already knew her body. Tightening one arm around her, he brought the other hand between them and started to thumb gently at her clit, kissing her firmly as he did so until she thought her lungs would burst when the dam did. When he finally broke the kiss he offered her no respite, kissing his way along her jaw and to her neck, lips and tongue and teeth working the skin there as he worked her. And it… it was too much, all at once, his mouth and his fingers and his cock all too relentless and she… "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh –"

"Yes," he groaned, wrapping his free arm around her again and the change of angle reached a new spot inside her that sent her over the edge, her legs twitching and tightening around him, her skin tingling and breaking into sweat all over, clutching onto him hopelessly as he fucked her through her orgasm.

She was still struggling to catch her breath when his movements became jerky and uneven, and she decided to return the favour and drive him a little crazy, tugging on his tie to bring his head down and closing her teeth gently over his earlobe. His moan was low and long, changing pitch with every thrust, and fuck, the way his face scrunched up when his hips stuttered against hers sent a new thrill through her.

Slowly, his hips stilled against her and she let her head fall against his chest, finally starting to catch her breath and feeling boneless and satisfied. Still breathing heavily, Nathaniel loosened his arms around her slightly but didn't let go entirely, dropping his head to rest against her shoulder, and somehow her hand found itself in his hair, holding him against her. It was nice, it was…

"Shit," he said eventually, between breaths, and Rebecca's eyes slid closed as reality came crashing down around her.

Leaning back, she pushed gently on his chest, keeping her face turned away from him. He stepped back without protest and she slipped down onto the floor, holding tightly to the kitchen counter since she didn't trust her legs not to give out on her. She still felt like jelly all over. Tugging her shirt down to cover herself, she risked a reluctant glance in his direction, but he wasn't looking directly at her either. "You need to go," she said, surprised when her voice came out only slightly unevenly.

He finished buckling his belt and then reached back to rub at the back of his neck. "This can't happen again," he said firmly.

Did he think she didn't know that? But all of the fight had gone out of her, for the moment anyway. She didn't want to fight with him. She wanted to be in his arms again, wanted to sigh into him and be warm and satisfied and _together_ , but she was the one who had stepped away from that. Nothing had changed for her, and he'd moved on to someone else. Of course they couldn't do this again – it shouldn't have even happened this time. She shifted from one foot to the other, then made herself still when she felt her lingering wetness on her thighs. "This isn't going to happen again."

When he didn't reply after a few moments she looked up at him and saw his eyes on her, watching him swallow and take a breath. "I'll see you Monday."

"Yep."

She didn't watch him leave, instead turning and putting her elbows on the counter, burying her face in her hands and cursing her own stupidity at letting this happen. Again.


	2. Chapter 2

Smiling to herself, Rebecca leaned back in her chair as everyone filed out of the room, then finally let herself grin back at Paula when she gave her 'excited mom face' and two thumbs up when she walked past her. Yes, she _should_ be proud, and she _should_ enjoy this.

She's managed to get through one whole meeting without being interrupted or disagreed with or contradicted by... well, you know.

It's not that she wanted his approval - she had more self worth in her work than that - but it was just _tiring_ having him push against her all the time. Not just because it was annoying, but because every time she got annoyed at him she got hot and frustrated, and that reminded her of when they'd gotten hot and frustrated _together_ , and she _really_ needed to stop thinking about that while she was at work.

Clearing her throat, she collected her notes from the meeting and returned to her office, dropping the paperwork on her desk. Nathaniel glanced up at her and smiled at her thinly. She smiled back at him. "So did you save all of your remarks for when we're alone?" she asked sarcastically.

He shrugged noncommittally. "No remarks," he said simply.

Rebecca frowned. That was... boring. Then she gave herself a shake, mentally slapping herself on the head. _No, you idiot._ Her instinct to fight him would only get them both into hot water. "Well, good," she said cheerfully, grabbing her bag. "I'm rewarding myself with an early lunch."

Now he finally reacted normally, looking at her straight on and sighing. "It's eleven o'clock, Rebecca."

"Yes it is," she said, pausing at the door. Majority ownership was great. "Want anything? Burger? Pizza? Fries?" She smirked at the face that he pulled, waving over her shoulder as she left.

Lunch came and went, and by three o'clock her high from the meeting had well and truly faded. Sighing, she propped her elbow on the desk and her chin in her palm, scrolling through the details of the case she was working on but not really seeing it. Nathaniel had gone to meet a client so at least she had the office to herself, but she just couldn't make her mind take in the words. Letting her head slip off of her hand and onto the desk, she banged her forehead against it a few times, trying to wake herself up.

Theoretically, she could just go home if she wanted to. She was the boss, after all.

But the case had to be filed, and she had to set an example, blah blah blah.

Well, not entirely blah blah blah. She did really love this firm and her job and her co-workers. She was _good_ at it, and liked that she was good at it. Right now, though, the only thing she wanted to be good at was taking a nap.

A nap wasn't going to happen, but she could take a break. Rubbing at her eyes, and then under them in case she'd just smudged her mascara everywhere, she made her way to the break room to make a coffee. Darryl was sitting at one of the tables, staring intently at his phone, and he didn't even look up at her as she fussed around the kitchen, let alone start a conversation. She'd just finished stirring in the creamer when she gave up, walking over and waving her hand in front of his face. "Hello? Earth to Darryl?"

He didn't even jump, just slumped further into his seat. "She hasn't called me yet," he said, tossing his phone onto the table. It sat there for about three seconds before he picked it up again and continued to stare at it.

Pressing her lips together, Rebecca took the seat closest to Darryl, reaching out to take the phone from him, putting it on the table and then covering his hand with hers. "Remember what Heather said, okay? When was she going for the blood test?"

Darryl looked skyward. "On her lunch break."

"And when did they say she'd get the results?"

He sighed with his whole body the way that only he knew how to. "By the end of the day," he said heavily. "I know, I know," he whined, "but I just want to know _now_. This is my baby we're talking about," he added, as if she didn't know that.

"Darryl, do you remember the home pregnancy test that she took yesterday?"

He finally relaxed, grinning suddenly. "I know, it's so great isn't it? But still, I just want the confirmation because, you know, this is my baby."

Having successfully turned him from distressed to excited, Rebecca took a long drink from her mug to hide her smile. Damn, she was a good friend/boss. Was she still Darryl's boss if she was representing his stake in the firm? Who cares, she was going with it anyway.

"Any news on the baby yet?"

Lowering her coffee, Rebecca screwed up her face when Nathaniel walked into the break room. "What do you care?" she asked.

"Oh shush, Rebecca," Darryl said, squeezing her arm as Nathaniel threw a smug grin at her over his shoulder. "Nathaniel's actually been really sweet about -"

"Who the hell drank the last of the coffee and didn't refill the pot?"

Widening her eyes, Rebecca hid her smirk behind her mug as she took another sip. Rolling his eyes, Nathaniel turned away, grabbing the pot and turning to the sink, holding it under the tap and turning it on.

Rebecca gasped in surprise as water burst from the tap, spraying Nathaniel, who let out a high-pitched yelp and dropped the coffee pot, holding out both hands to block the water but it just kept coming at him. Leaning away from the spray, he tried to turn off the tap but it didn't stop. Rebecca sat frozen in shock, her mouth falling open as Nathaniel struggled, but at least she wasn't worse than Darryl, who jumped up and backed up against the wall as though a stray splash of water might ruin his week.

Nathaniel gave up trying to block the water and disappeared below the sink, and a moment later the flood of water stopped. Rebecca covered her mouth with her hands, staring wide eyed at the broken faucet, the water all over the kitchen, and Nathaniel...

Nathaniel knelt in front of the sink, his head bowed, breathing heavily. He was completely drenched, water dripping from his hair, his clothes soaked. Slowly, he pulled himself to his feet, his hands gripping white-knuckled on the bench, then he lifted his head. "George!"

"Yes, sir." George darted into the break room so quickly it was as though he'd been waiting in the wings.

"Call someone to fix this," Nathaniel said, taking a clean tea towel from the cupboard and wiping his face. Rebecca bit down hard on her lip, trying not to look at him, trying to look at anything else, but that felt physically impossible when he stood just... just right _there_ , with his white shirt plastered to his body and showing her every detail of his chest, arms, stomach, absolutely everything that she wanted to put her hands on. Suddenly she was burning up, heat filling every inch of her and building right in her gut and between her legs.

"And you guys were so much help," he added sarcastically, turning towards them, but his words faltered when her eyes unwillingly rose to meet his. His hair was a mess, still dripping down his face, and she stared wide-eyed at a trickle that made its slow way down his neck.

When did the air in here get so _thick_?

Nathaniel took a deep, shuddering breath, blinking quickly, and Rebecca tried to use the moment to shake herself out of it but she couldn't shake the tension that had settled firmly inside her. She looked away, tried to compose herself, but she only lasted for a moment before she was peeking back at him, drinking in the sight of his muscled shoulders underneath the wet shirt, the fabric sticking tightly to his firm stomach.

 _Noooooo._

She couldn't look at him anymore, not if she wanted to avoid jumping him right there in front of everyone. Suddenly the ground was super interesting. After a moment Nathaniel cleared his throat loudly. "I'm just going to - I have a change of clothes in my office, so -" Without bothering to finish his sentence, he stalked from the break room, his shoes squelching slightly with every step.

Silence filled the room behind him, then Darryl leaned over her shoulder. "I guess he learned his lesson after his last 'incident' at work," he said knowingly.

"Yeah," she said distractedly, then gave herself a shake. She had to get away from other people, or she was going to make a fool of herself. "Show's over, let's all get back to work. George, clean this up," she said, waving her hand in the general direction of the mess as she got to her feet and went to hide in her office.

Which was a _terrible_ idea. A terrible, stupid, dumb idea, because of course where else would Nathaniel be?

He looked up at her when she walked into the office, the two of them freezing when they saw each other. He was standing at the back of the room, a fresh shirt hanging from the back of his chair, his hand paused in pulling his tie from around his neck. He wasn't dripping anymore, but his hair was still plastered to his head, his shirt clinging to his body. Slowly, her eyes ran up his body until she reached his eyes, and she looked away immediately when she saw the fire burning in them as he stared back at her. Every inch of her skin felt like it was on fire. "I'll go," she said, taking a step back and almost tripping over the couch.

"No, I'll just – bathroom," he muttered, grabbing his shirt and a towel from one of the cupboards behind his desk. She kept her eyes on the floor as he walked past her, and then sank down onto the couch as soon as he'd left. She was screwed, she was so screwed. It wasn't just the sight of him all drenched and hot and wet, but by the way he'd looked at her, he knew how turned on she was by him and that turned him on too. And _that_ certainly affected her.

Dropping her head into her hands, she twisted her fingers into her hair and pulled. _Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop._ Taking a deep breath in, she held it for as long as she could, and then got up and left her office.

And walked straight to the men's room.

No one was in sight of the door when she approached it so she slipped quickly inside, and was relieved to see that Nathaniel was the only one in there. His back was to her, but she could see from his reflection that he'd towel-dried his hair and was in the process of buttoning up his fresh shirt. After a moment he glanced up at the mirror, and she caught his eyes in the reflection.

Slowly, deliberately, she reached behind her and turned the lock.

Nathaniel spun around just as she closed the distance between them, so she felt not an inkling of doubt as she took his head between her hands and pulled him down to her, kissing him hotly and pressing her body flush against his. His arms came around her, his hands sliding down her body and settling on her ass, pulling her more firmly against him. He was – fuck, he was already hard for her, and she kissed him harder, needing to make the absolute most of every moment.

Not physically capable of waiting any longer even if she wanted to – she'd been ready for this for the last ten minutes – she pushed him backwards into the stall, breaking their kiss as she fumbled with his belt buckle. One of his hands slipped under her dress to tug down her underwear while the other reached behind him to lower the lid on the seat, and then she was climbing onto his lap, straddling his thighs and pressing herself right up against him. His pants were pushed down enough that his underwear was the only thing separating them, and she grinded herself against him, gasping from the sensation of his hardness right against her most sensitive spot. Nathaniel jerked his hips up towards her, apparently feeling it just as intently as she did.

Somehow, she still had the presence of mind to dig his wallet out of his pocket and find a condom, dropping the wallet and then the wrapper on the floor, sliding the condom down over his cock. As soon as it was on he grabbed her by her hips, pulling her close as she lined him up and sank down onto him.

She gave herself a moment, rocking her hips gently against his as she adjusted to his fit, but she was so turned on already and the little _"oh"_ sound he made as she moved against him had her going straight for it. Taking a firm hold of his hard, broad shoulders, she used them as leverage as she started to ride him, moaning lowly at the drag of him inside her. His grip shifted from her hips to her ass, helping her move against him and oh, god, this was everything she'd craved when she'd first seen him wet and dripping in the kitchen.

Well, almost everything. In lieu of drenching him in water again, she tugged the buttons of his shirt undone and smoothed her hands over his stomach and up his chest, enjoying every swell of his muscles, his soft skin and toned body incredible under her fingers. As if reading her mind, Nathaniel reached up with one hand and tugged down the zipper at the back of her dress and pulled it from her shoulders, unclipping her bra. She let it fall and herself firmly against him, pressing her cheek against his, thrilling in the feeling of his hot bare skin sliding against her bare skin.

It was _too good._ Pushing his shirt further off of his shoulders, Rebecca bent her head and pressed her open mouth against his shoulder, struggling to hold back her moans. When she kissed her way up to his neck and found that sensitive spot just below his ear, he groaned loudly, and she reached up blindly to cover his mouth with her hand. There was only a wall or two between them and every single person who they had to work with every day. "You have to be – _ohh_ , you have to be _quiet_ ," she said, starting out in a whisper and then ruining it when she moaned the last word loudly into his neck.

Nudging away her hand, he turned his head and buried his face against her neck, pressing hot, wet kisses against her skin and doing absolutely nothing to help with the fact that she wanted to _scream_. And then he made it worse, slipping a hand in between them and rubbing furiously at her clit, making her hips jerk forward against his at the new sensation. He groaned again at her reaction, the hand on her ass pulling her more forcefully against him, starting to thrust up further to meet her, and then he was moaning under his breath, louder and louder every moment.

She was so close, but he was closer, and when he started to shudder underneath her she didn't stop. She wanted to watch him fall apart so badly, but their intermingling moans were getting increasingly desperate and loud so she wrapped her arm around his neck and kissed him firmly, holding onto his shoulders tightly, her hips moving over his unceasingly as his stuttered forward and she felt his cock pulsate as he came inside her. His touch on her faltered for a moment, but then he tugged her closer, his hand holding her hip with bruising force, his finger rubbing at her clit furiously until she came as well, muffling her moans and cursing against his neck. She continued to roll her hips against him, each slow movement one more shiver through her body.

Rebecca eventually let herself relax against him, dropping her forehead onto his shoulder and sucking in deep breaths. He held her closely, and even if it weren't for the orgasm induced looseness that flooded her, it still felt _good_ to be in his arms. And – back to that orgasm – she felt herself melt just a little bit more as she revelled in the tingles still surging through her. "Oh my god," she muttered. _How was it possible that he could get her so damned aroused so easily, and get her off just as quickly?_

"Mhmm," he agreed wordlessly, burying his face into her neck, squeezing her tighter and nuzzling into her. His softening cock twitched inside her as he moved, and her legs tightened around him in reflex, her hips rocking forward into him slightly, and it was just so _nice_ to come down with him.

Except there wasn't really much nice about the fact that they'd just fucked in the bathroom at work.

Which they were hiding from everyone because she wasn't ready for what a relationship did to her.

And he had a girlfriend.

"Wait, oh my _god_." She pushed back on his shoulders as she leaned away from him. His hair mussed, his eyes hooded, he looked just as utterly satisfied as she felt, along with a growing hint of confusion as she stared at him, but none of the guilt or panic that was quickly building inside of her. Climbing off of him, she pulled her dress up to cover her chest as she picked up her bra and underwear from the floor – she was saving that to be disgusted about later – and backed out of the cubicle. "This was… this is so bad," she said, stepping into her underwear. "What were we –"

"Well, I don't think bad is the right word," Nathaniel interrupted from the cubicle, and damn it why did his voice have to go so low and gravelly after –

 _No._ She just – she just couldn't even think about that. She scrubbed at her face, pulled at her hair. _What the hell are you doing, Rebecca?_

He stepped out of the cubicle, slipping his belt through the loop, his shirt still unbuttoned and half hanging from his shoulders. Swallowing hard, Rebecca turned away, pulling her bra straps over her shoulders and fumbling hurriedly with the clasp. _Yeah, because now it's time to start being modest._ Adjusting her dress over her chest, she turned to face him as she pulled up the zipper. "No," she said firmly, opening her eyes wide to stare at him imploringly. "We are not going to brag about how good the sex might have been," she said, and shot him a venomous look when he looked to protest at her use of the word 'might'. "And we are not going to do this again."

Nathaniel scoffed, looking away from her as he started to button up his shirt. "Of course we're not going to do this again… again." He paused, glanced up at her and then quickly back down at his shirt. "Again."

"Well… exactly. Good." Rebecca backed up towards the door. "And we're not going to stay in the bathroom alone together."

"Yeah, well, good," he said, bending down to pick his tie up from where he'd dropped it on the floor. She used the moment to flick the lock on the door and, peeking out to make sure no one was waiting or looking, slipped out of the men's room and fled back to her office. Closing the door behind her, she fell into her chair.

 _How did that even happen?_ They'd managed to work through two whole days of semi-kinda-only-barely-awkward normalcy, and then all it took was a bit of water splashing on him to just throw all of her resolve out of the window. This was… _this is not okay, Rebecca._

The door to the office opened noisily, and although she kept her eyes on the wall, she saw Nathaniel enter the room and close the door behind from the corner of her eye. "Okay, we need to talk to about this," he said, quickly walking around the office until their desks were between them. Just to be safe, she pushed her chair back a little way back from her desk, giving them an extra foot. "This _cannot_ happen again."

"Well, obviously," Rebecca said, screwing up her face as though to say he was crazy for even suggesting an alternative. "That was the last time."

"The absolute last time," he agreed, leaning on the back of his chair. "Just one last time for old time's sake, right? Because I'm happy with Mona," he said pointedly.

"And I'm happy by myself," she added quickly, covering up the sting with as much confidence as she could muster. "So happy. No more distractions."

"Right," he agreed, nodding vigorously. And she meant it, she really did, except when they both fell silent she found herself looking at him much too intensely, drinking in every nuance to his expression, her eyes lingering on the collar of his shirt and remembering the taste and the feel and the warmth of the skin beneath. And then her eyes were trailing down his arms, picturing his strong arms underneath his shirt, imagining them around her –

"You know what we need?" she said, pushing herself another few inches away from the desk. "Rules. We need rules."

"Yes," he said immediately, pushing back from his chair and walking the length of the office and back again, pacing back and forth and always keeping the desk between them. "Rules. Okay. Well obviously, no sex."

"Obviously," she said, pulling a face at him because of course that was the line they had to stick behind. "Not again. Not at all. Especially not at work," she said, gesturing in the general direction of the men's room.

"Definitely no locking each other in the bathroom," he said, looking at her pointedly.

 _Yeah, because that was all on her, right._ "Well, no sexy eyes at each other," she said, thinking back to the look he'd given her when he was standing in the kitchen, drenched to the skin and staring at her like he could read all of her dirty thoughts.

"No being alone together," he said, his voice going thick again, and she could just tell that his mind was in exactly the same gutter as hers was.

"No thinking dirty thoughts about each other," she said quickly, pushing her chair back and standing up to get on a slightly more even level as him.

He cleared his throat, then stopped behind his chair once again, lifting his chin confidently. "No accosting each other at the others' place."

Her mouth dropped open in shock. _He'd_ done that to _her!_ He didn't look in the least bit apologetic. "No fighting," she said determinedly. "No arguing."

"Oh yeah?" he said, stepping up to her, looking down at her with just a few inches separating his face from hers. She could feel his breath on her face. It would be so easy to just reach up on her tiptoes and press her mouth against his. His eye flittered all over her face, settling on her mouth. "Well no…" He blinked suddenly then stepped back from her quickly. "None of… none of this. Just none of this."

Blinking quickly, she leaned back as he stepped away. How, in amidst a discussion about how they needed to stay away from each other, had they managed to get so damned close to each other? A whirlwind of emotions swirled through her as he moved back to his side of the desk. Nathaniel sat down heavily into his chair and rubbed at his eyes before he looked across at her. "We can do this, right? We're both strong enough for this," he said, as though it was the easiest thing in the world.

Sinking back into her chair, Rebecca definitely realised the nervous feeling of dread in her gut before she pushed it down, down, down. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself to reality, to the fact that this is what she'd asked for, that this is what she needed. "We can do this. We'll be fine." She stared at her desk for a moment, remembering all of the times over the last two weeks where she'd thought of nothing else but pushing him down over the desk and having her way with him, a fantasy that they'd just stupidly, _stupidly_ re-enacted in the bathroom. "We can't keep doing this," she said quietly. "It's not just about not having sex every time we want to. You're not moving from that side of the desk, and I'm not moving from here. We have to figure out how to be normal together." They could do normal, right?

"We can do it. It'll It' be fine," he said cheerfully. "We're just not going to think about it. From now," he said, just as she noticed that his collar was folded unevenly.

 _Of course._ "From… now," she said, forcing all thoughts about the reason for his state of undress from her mind.

She raised her eyes from his neck to his eyes, and felt her heart sink at the expression she saw there. "From now," Nathaniel said quietly, the tone of his voice sending a shiver through her.

Long breath in – long breath out. They could do this.

They could do this.


	3. Chapter 3

Crossing her arms, Rebecca pressed her lips together and frowned down at Paula, who sat behind her desk and sunk a little lower into her chair. "This is just unacceptable behaviour," she said, shaking her head disappointedly. "Thirty minutes late? Paula…"

Paula pouted, and that was it, Rebecca couldn't keep a straight face anymore. She tried to cover her grin with her hand, but not quickly enough, and then they both dissolved into laughter. Leaning back in her chair, Paula sighed loudly. "Oh, please do play the scary boss lady more often, that was so much fun."

"You brought the muffins, right?"

"Yep," she said, standing up and grabbing the box from the desk beside her. "They didn't have any raspberry white choc, but they did have triple choc fudge brownie, so we're still good."

Rebecca followed her to the break room, hesitating for a moment when she saw Nathaniel standing in front of the coffee machine, his back to her. The sink had been fixed for three days now and she'd done her best since then to not think about that day or what he'd looked like or what he'd felt like or what he'd tasted like.

And well, she hadn't jumped him again, so that was a good start. They'd seen each other every day since then, had managed to work side by side with him without doing anything inappropriate, even sat across from him in the office and actually got a fair bit of work done. They'd kept the door open and one of them had always left as soon as the office started to empty out, but still. A good start.

Squaring her shoulders, she pulled two mugs from the cupboard and stepped up next to him. "Hi," she said quietly, looking up at him sideways as she reached for the coffee pot.

Glancing down at her, he smiled faintly. "Hey." She smiled at him cautiously, then more naturally after a moment when she realised that this was just a normal moment, two normal people who were no longer sleeping together greeting each other in the morning. People who weren't sleeping together still spoke to each other, right? _This is good_ , she thought, pouring coffee into the two mugs. "Oh, here," he said, and she looked up to see him offering her the creamer.

"Thanks," she said, taking care not to touch his hand as she took the creamer from him. Because people who weren't sleeping together didn't want to touch each other just in case, right?

He smiled at her again, before turning and heading toward their office. Bowing her head, she closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath before walking over to the table Paula was sitting at.

"Why thank you," Paula said as Rebecca pushed one of the coffees to her side of the table and grabbed one of the muffins from the box.

"And thank you," she said, lifting the muffin and cheersing her with it.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both of them enjoying the chocolately goodness. "So Nathaniel's changed his tune about you being here," she commented eventually. "Is it still super weird for you, sharing an office with him?"

Her eyes going wide, she stuffed a large piece of muffin into her mouth to avoid having to answer properly, shrugging noncommittally as she did so. Paula cocked her head, giving her a funny look, then her jaw dropped open. " _No,_ " she gasped. "You're –" She looked around them quickly, leaning in. "You're sleeping together!"

"We are not," Rebecca protested. Paula stared back at her, clearly not buying it, and Rebecca slumped in the chair. "Anymore," she added reluctantly. "But we've stopped, it only happened once, well okay like three times, but it's definitely not happening again. Never. Nope. No. And before you tell me how bad it is," she said, holding up her hand when Paula furrowed her brow and opened her mouth, "I know all of the reasons why it was a terrible, stupid, dumb idea, and that's why it's over."

"Good," Paula said slowly, then screwed her face up. "And see now I'm conflicted, because I want to know all of the drama and the details and the whens and whys and hows, but also he's still my boss, so…"

"Well isn't it good that I'm not going to talk about it," Rebecca said cheerfully. "How about we talk about how normal that exchange was just before?" She gestured to the other side of the lunch room. "That was good, right? We're doing so well."

"Uh-huh." Paula looked unconvinced as she sucked some chocolate from her thumb. "How long's it been?"

Rebecca looked at her muffin, her nails, the floor. "Three days."

"Well, that's a start, honey," Paula said, with absolutely no conviction.

"A start, a middle, and an end," she said firmly. "I promise you. We are done with it. We are just co-workers who are kinda friendly but aren't going to have anything to do with each other's personal lives."

"If you say so…"

Leaning against the cubicle wall, Rebecca thumbed through her receipts as Maya hunted through a folder that looked just as big as she was. "Do you think donuts count as a work related expense if I gave one to the client?" she mused. It _was_ an expensive donut.

Maya looked up at her slowly. "Is that the only thing that you'll be claiming?" she asked carefully.

"Of course not," Rebecca scoffed. "I'm going to sneak it in with the parking fee."

Closing the folder, Maya turned to her computer. "I'm out of the forms, I can print some more for you though."

"I'll grab it from the printer. Thanks," she said cheerfully.

There wasn't anything waiting in the printer for her when she got there, so she checked the tray and saw it was empty. Squatting down, she opened the cupboard beside it where their paper stash lived, but of course it was empty. Did anybody ever refill anything in this place? "I guess I have to do everything myself," she muttered, standing and making her way to the storeroom.

None of the boxes of paper were open, so Rebecca hunted around for a box cutter, finally finding one on the bottom shelf. As she lined up the blade to cut the plastic ribbon thingy, she heard the door open behind her, but paid it no heed until she heard a low "Oh."

Straightening up, Rebecca turned to see Nathaniel standing just inside the storeroom, the door slowly falling shut behind him. "I'm getting staples," he explained quickly, a slight hint of what looked to be panic touching his eyes.

"I'm getting paper," she said, gesturing with the box cutter to the boxes beside her. His gaze travelled from her to the paper boxes and back again, his expression carefully blank. She tried for the same, yet wondered if he could still tell how suddenly tense she felt in every inch of her body.

A tension that was completely and utterly stupid. What were they, teenagers so desperate for a moment alone that they jumped each other at every opportunity? This was getting more and more ridiculous - they both had more self control than that. Besides, she wasn't even horny right now. "This is fine," she said with confidence, forcing a smile and making herself feel it. "It's not like just because we're in here alone together that we're going to do it."

Nathaniel laughed, and to his credit it only sounded a little forced. "I mean that would be ridiculous."

"And we've been doing so well."

He nodded vigorously. "So well."

Rebecca watched him warily, feeling her smile slipping, and she wasn't sure who moved first but they met in the middle of the room, his mouth pressing against hers forcefully, pushing her lips apart and it was fine, _it was fine, oh god -_

His hands here on her face, in her hair, and she leaned into him, kissing him back with all of the longing that she was failing so hard at ignoring. Grabbing his waist, she pulled him into her and he continued the momentum, pushing her backwards until her back met the shelves. She rolled her hips forward into his, and he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. "We said –"

"I know," she gasped, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck and turning her head, pressing kisses against his jaw. He groaned loudly, rocking his hips forward. "We should –"

"I know," he muttered, his voice low and thick, finding her mouth again and she melted against him as he kissed her thoroughly. His hands moved down her body, one of them hooking around her knee and pulling her leg up over his hip, the other making quick work of the buttons on her pants, sliding into her underwear, a finger slipping between her folds, and when he found the right spot she moaned into his mouth, her hands finding his shoulders and squeezing them tightly. He hand travelled further down, his finger playing against her entrance while his palm pressed against her clit.

A sound made her open her eyes, and then she was pushing Nathaniel away, just in time as Maya opened the door and stepped into the storeroom. Rebecca stepped behind Nathaniel, buttoning her pants hurriedly, breathing long and deep to try and hide the fact that she was so out of breath. No one said anything, and when Rebecca looked back at Maya she was looking between them with confusion. "I'm just here to get paper," she said slowly.

"Yes, yes me too," she said, grabbing the box cutter and turning back towards the paper boxes. Her hands were shaking.

Nathaniel cleared his throat loudly. "And I'm getting a stapler. I mean, staples," he said, pushing things around on the shelf.

"Um, the staples are over there," Maya said, pointing to the opposite side of the room.

"Right."

Rebecca grabbed the ream of paper and hurried to the door, pausing when she reached it and turning to look back at Nathaniel, who was watching her from across the room. She glanced across at Maya, who's back was to them, then back at Nathaniel. "The last time," she mouthed.

"Absolutely," he mouthed back at her, nodding vigorously. She hesitated, taking in his mussed hair, his red cheeks. Suddenly self-conscious, she ran her hand through her hair, steeled herself and walked back to the printer.

Filling up the tray, Rebecca leaned against the printer and sighed heavily as she waited for her form to print. Maya hadn't noticed anything, right? _That could have been a lot worse,_ she reasoned, shuddering to think what Maya would have seen if she'd come in just a minute or two later.

 _It also could have been a lot better._

Yes, because now she was all worked up, and she could still _feel_ his hands on her.

Giving herself a shake, she took the form from the printer and her receipts from where she'd left them on the cupboard beside it, and strode over to Paula's desk, pulling up a spare chair beside hers. Paula looked up at her in confusion. "Something wrong with your office?"

"Nope," she said, "but I'm just going to do this here anyway, okay?"

Paula nodded slowly, looking entirely unconvinced. "Okay. So I don't want to know?"

"Mmhmm," Rebecca said firmly, shaking her head firmly and taking a pen, grabbing her first receipt.


	4. Chapter 4

"Shit, shit, shit."

Rebecca paused as she walked past Paula's desk, then stopped, frowning, as Paula got to her feet and started stuffing her phone and keys into her purse. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I have to go to the school," Paula said, forcing a smile that didn't quite hide her crazy eyes. "Brendan's been caught selling old exam papers, the little… I just can't believe him! I did _not_ raise someone careless enough to get _caught_!"

Screwing up her mouth, Rebecca cocked her head to the side, but decided that this was not the right time to comment on Paula's parenting priorities. "That's cool, go – do what you gotta do."

Paula grabbed a file from her desk and then slowed, looking at it for a long moment and then raising her eyes back to her. "That's not all." She grimaced, turning the file over in her hands. "Nathaniel's been at a meeting with a client all afternoon and wasn't planning on coming in over the weekend, so he called Maya to bring this over after work since he was going straight home afterwards. She's going to some super important boring party thing straight from work, so I told her I'd do it for her."

Rebecca raised her eyebrows. "That was… nice of you?" she said uncertainly.

Paula laughed under her breath, rolling her eyes. "Yeah well, I didn't do offer to do it out of the goodness of my heart – the fact that she owes me a favour scares the shit out of her, but I know I'll think of something that I can actually get her to do. But now it's on me to take it to him, and who knows how long I'll be at the school for." She grimaced at her hopefully. "Could you put on your boss-lady pants and make someone do it for me?"

"As much as I love the idea of using my new position to benefit my friends, this time I don't need to." Taking the file, she flipped through the pages without looking at them. "I'll take it over myself."

"Oh, honey," Paula said slowly. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"It'll be fine," she assured her. She waved off her concern when she looked at her askance. "Now go deal with your criminal child. I'll take this to Nathaniel, I'll be in and out, just like two normal co-business owners. It'll be _fine._ I promise."

On her way to Nathaniel's apartment, she stopped at her place to change her underwear.

The door opened to Nathaniel's back as he was already turning away from it. "Hey - just put it on the counter." He was a few steps back into his apartment before he stopped and slowly turned back to her, smiling at her in confusion. She smiled back. After a moment his dropped into a frown. "You're not Maya," he pointed out needlessly.

"Or Paula." She stepped inside and dropped the case file on the table next to the door. Cocking her head to the side, she looked up at him consideringly. "The question is," she said slowly, "are you complaining?"

He'd taken a few steps back toward the door but now he stopped, his lip twitching as though he wanted to smile but wasn't sure whether he was allowed to. Rebecca didn't wait for him to find his words, reaching behind her blindly to push the door closed and then closing the distance between them. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him close and furrowed her brow as she kissed him gently, just enjoying the feeling of his soft, warm lips against hers. Her hands cupped his face, her thumbs stroking his cheeks, feeling the day-old stubble breaking from his skin, and after a moment he relaxed into her, kissing her back, one hand slipping into her hair while the other came around her waist. She felt warm and desirable and wanted, her heart swelling three sizes in her chest, and she kissed him with all of that feeling, tilting her head and parting her lips to taste him deeper.

Humming low in his throat, Nathaniel moved and she let him step her backwards toward his bed. She dropped backwards onto the mattress, her fall softened by Nathaniel's strong arm around her waist. Pulling him firmly down on top of her, her legs parted naturally to let him settle in between them. She kissed him again, breathing out heavily through her nose and revelling in the familiar weight of him on top of her as he pressed himself bodily into her. Her fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, brushing against his skin as she worked her way down, but just as she reached the bottom and moved her hands to his shoulders to push the shirt off of them, he pulled away and pushed himself back until he was kneeling between her legs. He made quick work of the buttons on her pants and she lifted her hips to let him slide them off, leaning forward afterward to pull her blouse over her head and pulling off her bra, tossing it to the side of the room. Her heart starting to pound as he smiled at her, his eyebrow cocking... well, cockily as he shifted down the bed.

"You don't have to - oh god," she said, all stupid, _stupid, what are you even thinking_ protests abandoning her as he pressed her legs open further and lowered his head, pressing his mouth on her through her underwear. Rebecca let her head fall back against the pillow, her breath catching in her throat as he moved his mouth against her, gasping a moan as he sucked gently through the thin material.

"I like these," he murmured, his fingers hooking around the waistband and tugging them down, and damn she felt awkward and leggy as she squirmed out of them but as soon as she was free his hands ran up her legs and she immediately felt sexy and desirable. His touch on her inner thighs sent shivers all through her as he guided her legs open, his nose nudging at the crease of her thigh had her heart pounding, his warm breath on her had her squirming until his hands closed around her thighs to keep her still, but nothing compared to that first press of his open mouth against her. He kissed at her, his lips moving over her slowly, his tongue pressing flat against her and licking at her firmly.

Her eyes rolled back as his mouth closed over her clit, her hips jerking forward automatically. When his forearm came up and settled across her lower stomach, holding her in place she knocked it away, uninterested in any kind of restraint in this. When her hand sunk into his hair, holding him against her, he took her hint, redoubling his efforts and oh god, it was _ridiculous_ how good he was at this. His other hand left her thigh and she took the opportunity, hooking her leg over his shoulder and grinding up against him. Looking down at him, she felt a thrill to see his eyes on her, and the mischief in them making her uncertain for the barest moment before his fingers found her, playing with her opening and then slipping them slowly inside of her. His eyes stuttered closed, and fuck it if the idea of him being turned on by how much she was enjoying this didn't make it so much better.

His fingers moved slowly at first, matching the rolling of his tongue against her, but as she got more and more worked up he picked up his pace, rubbing at her insides while he kissed her all over, his attention mostly focused on her clit but not forgetting all of the surrounding sensitive areas. Rebecca let out a low moan when he stopped licking at her to suck gently on her clit, and pressed the back of her hand against her mouth to muffle the sound but only succeeded in huffing in desperation when Nathaniel pulled back from her. "No," he said, his voice tense but firm, and when she caught his eye he widened his desperately. He pulled her hand away from her mouth, his fingers threading through hers as he pressed kisses against her inner thigh, keeping her on edge. "Here, you don't have to keep quiet," he said thickly. "Here, we don't have to rush it. I'm taking my time with you, and I'm going to hear just how much you love it."

Unable to argue with that, Rebecca let her head fall back again, her breath coming quickly as he licked slowly, so fucking slowly up the crease of her leg, and then let her moan fall from her lips unhindered as he closed his mouth over her again and now he was unrelentless, kissing and licking and sucking at her until she was a mess beneath his touch, until the only sound in the room was her next moan starting just as the other finished, until she started to shake beneath him and then her whole body froze, wave after wave of pleasure rolling through her because he wasn't stopping, wasn't letting up. "Nathaniel," she moaned - half-protest, half-curse, all blame - until he finally slowed his movements. His fingers slipped from her but he continued to mouth at her softly until her body finally relaxed completely.

Still he didn't move away, not entirely, turning his head to press small kisses against the inside of her thigh. His hand squeezed hers gently, his fingers massaging her knuckles, but then his hand untangled from hers and when she felt the bed shift she opened her eyes halfway to see him padding over to the bedside table. She closed them again, letting her head fall back and sighing until there was no air left in her lungs, melting into the bed.

When a thump reached her ears she looked up, humming quietly when she saw him tossing his other shoe and then shrugging out of his shirt. She sucked her lower lip between her teeth, watching the muscles under his skin move as he bent down to slide his pants and underwear off in one go. Damn, that man looked good as he was undressing, and naked, and clothed, and just yeah okay, all of the time. He smirked at her as though he knew exactly what she was thinking but she didn't even care – although she _did_ care about the way his brow furrowed when he rolled the condom on.

Climbing back onto the bed, he resumed his position between her legs, kissing his way up from her thigh to her hip. She reached down lazily and threaded her fingers through the short hairs at the back of his head as he slowly kissed his way up her body, making her squirm when he focused on the sensitive stretch of skin there that always gave her shivers, making her sigh when he closed his mouth over her nipple. As soon as he'd come a little more level with her, she lifted her knees to let him settle in between them properly, rolling her hips and rubbing herself against his hardness between her legs. He paused in his kissing of her neck, his breath faltering, his hips stuttering forward into hers and the sliding of his cock against her clit made her insides clench in anticipation.

It didn't speed him up, though, and he took his time kissing him way along her jaw. She was a lot less patient, turning her head and capturing his mouth with her own, her fingers tightening in his hair to keep him close and kissing him with all of the longing that had been building inside of her. He kissed her back so slowly, so sweetly, his lips moving with hers gently but thoroughly. When she felt the press of him at her entrance she spread her legs wider, encouraging him, and when the tip of him slipped inside she whimpered, yes from the feeling of him inside of her but also it just felt so good, so overwhelming to have his hard, naked body on and in hers. "Ahh," he gasped as he slowly thrust all of the way in, and she responded in kind when his hand slid down her side, down her leg until he reached her knee and pulled her leg up over his hip, using the angle to press just a little further inside her. It was too much, too much, and she felt something almost like relief when he moved, starting a slow, rolling rhythm.

When he next broke the kiss to breathe, Rebecca threw her head back on the pillow, her own chest heaving. He was leaned back, his weight resting on one arm while the fingers of his other hand teased at her nipple. Sighing with enjoyment, she reached up to pull him back down and he followed easily, dropping back onto his elbow, but he didn't lean in to kiss her again like she'd hoped for. Instead he looked down to where his hand was, followed its movements as it trailed up her neck and then settled on her face, his palm cupping her cheek. She lifted her hand to pull his away but instead found it resting over his, holding it there as she looked up to meet his eyes fully. There was arousal there, yes, and lust, but there was also something a lot more open and pure than she'd expected, and she felt it's answer resonating in the sudden swelling of her heart.

His breath hitched with every thrust, but she couldn't breathe at all. Pulling him back down onto her, she buried her face against his shoulder, her hands smoothing over his skin as she started to feel a tingle all throughout hers. When his teeth closed gently over her earlobe she moaned, tightening her arms around him, wanting to take him closer, closer, closer within her. "Don't stop," she moaned as her body started to tremble, and the way he growled and picked up his pace in response only took her a step closer to the edge.

"Fuck, Rebecca," he breathed into her ear, groaning when she lifted her hips up into his, her insides clenching and her nails digging into the skin of his back. She cried out as she came, her body stiffening under his. His thrusts started to become more erratic as he chased her high for his own, keeping her right up there with him until he stopped suddenly, pressing down into her so firmly with his whole body as he groaned out her name again and she held him tightly, still feeling tremors throughout and wanting to keep this moment for as long as she could.

He was hot and sweaty and heavy and wonderful, and she was going to take just one moment more, just one.

All too soon Nathaniel pulled back and Rebecca reluctantly loosened her grip on him, then smiled as he stretched out on his back and pulled her into his arms. She settled into his embrace easily, hooking her leg over his and resting her head on his chest. As her breathing started to finally even out, she relaxed into him fully, burrowing further into him as his arm squeezed her closer, his fingers drawing lines up and down her arm. She felt so comfortable and warm and content.

Which is not at all what she was supposed to be getting out of this. She frowned, snuggling closer to him to try and rid herself of the nervous feeling growing stronger and stronger in her chest, but it only intensified as he turned his head and pressed his lips into her hair. "Can I… can I use your shower?" she asked, twisting out of his arms and sitting back. "I just feel sticky. I feel sticky. So can I…?"

Nathaniel pushed himself up on his elbows, his eyebrows lifting as he looked up at her. "Oh – okay. Sure. There's towels –"

"I know," she said, climbing off of the bed and doing her best not to actually run into the bathroom.

She just needed a minute, that's all it was. Just a minute to calm down and squish her feelings back into the tiny little box where they couldn't hurt anybody. Then she could go back in there and have more fantastic, emotionless sex with her co-worker ex-boyfriend.

Or she could, you know, just go home, but…

Grabbing a towel from the cupboard under the sink, she put it on the bench in easy reach and then stepped into the shower, holding her hand under the stream until it hit the right temperature. After a few long seconds she moved under the water, letting it wash over her and wash away the tension that had absolutely no right to be there considering she'd just been so thoroughly fucked.

Except that's not what it had felt like. It had felt like making love. And no – no, they were _not_ doing that.

No.

Nope.

Scrubbing at her face, Rebecca turned the tap to make the water hotter until it was just shy of scalding. Then, not feeling any better, she slumped against the shower wall and wrapped her arms around herself. That had been pure, inexcusable love making, and it had made her feel loved and warm and… and safe, and all of those things were great in a relationship, but the whole point was that she wasn't ready to _have_ a relationship. Sex was fine, meaningless sex because sure, they knew how to get each other off insanely well so why not, but what had just happened was not meaningless. Not to her.

And surely not to him. Not from the tender way he'd held her. Not from the gentle way he'd touched her.

Deciding that she just had to wash away her sad and get out of here, Rebecca reached for the jumble of bottles sitting together in the shower caddy and was surprised to see the bottle of vanilla scented body wash that she'd left here. Grabbing the bottle, she squeezed some onto the palm of her hand and began to quickly wash herself, but her mind couldn't move past the body wash. Yeah, she'd left a bottle here when they'd been dating, but they'd broken up weeks ago now, and the more she thought about it the more certain she became that the bottle she'd left here had been almost empty. This one was practically full.

Because it wasn't hers, she realised belatedly, standing still under the stream as guilt and hurt and confusion washed over her in alternating waves. It was Mona's.

Or maybe he'd bought it for Mona. She didn't know, but the point was that she was using the body wash of someone who entirely had the right to be in Nathaniel's shower, in his bed, in his apartment, in his heart, and she had no claim to any of those things.

She was still standing frozen when she heard the bathroom door open quietly, didn't move when the shower door slid open. "You've been in here for ages," he commented mildly, stepping into the shower and closing the door behind him. "I figured if you're going to use all of my hot water I might as well join you."

Her heart sinking, Rebecca closed her eyes as his arms came around her waist from behind, pressing himself against her back, and he was so warm and hard and soft at the same time, his already wet skin so smooth and she wanted this, she wanted this so badly, she wanted for it to be hers and to have it all the time.

Most of all, more than anything, she wanted it to be something she could let herself have.

She felt sick at the idea of pushing him away when she wanted it _so badly_.

"This can't happen again," she said flatly, looking up at the ceiling but that only had her leaning back into him further, so she stepped out of his arms and turned to face him.

He didn't quite manage to hide his expression quickly enough that she didn't see his face fall, but then it straightened and he lifted his chin. "Obviously," he said firmly. "Like we said last time –"

"No, not like last time. I mean it." She crossed her arms over her breasts in a belated show of privacy. "This wasn't one time thing sex," she said, nodding in the general direction of his bed. "This was feelings sex. And we _can't_ be having feelings sex right now. Actually," she said, shaking her head at herself, "we shouldn't be having _any_ sex right now."

Nathaniel's shoulders slumped, his head tilting towards her. "Rebecca…"

"No," she said, holding up her hand between them and stepping back, but she stepped right back into the shower wall. She glanced behind her and then back at Nathaniel, noticed despite herself how the water from the shower stream hit his chest and trickled down his toned body. She didn't let herself look any lower, dropping her head into her hands instead. "Look, I can't have this conversation with you here."

"What – what conversation?" Rebecca didn't answer, stepping out of the shower and grabbing the towel, drying herself off with one hand as she reached for the bathroom door handle with the other. "Rebecca, wait –"

By the time he'd made it out of the bathroom she'd twisted her hair up in the towel on her head, had her underwear on, and was just stepping into her pants. She didn't look up at him, instead focusing on doing up her buttons as quickly as she could. "What's going on, Rebecca? Everything felt fine just before."

The fact that everything was so _fine,_ so great, so amazing, was what the problem was. "Just like I said," she said, picking her blouse up from the floor and slipping it on. Pulling the towel from her head, she gave it a precursory rub and then draped it over the back of a chair. She'd deal with the mess of wet tangles when she got home. She certainly wasn't going to go hunting through his bathroom for a comb – who knows what female things that didn't belong to her she'd find. "We can't do this anymore. We're not doing this anymore."

"… Okay."

He spoke so hesitantly that she finally glanced up at him, scowling when she saw him standing there with just a towel hanging low off of his hips. He looked like he sounded – confused. "No, I mean it," she said firmly, turning to face him fully, staring at him imploringly. "I mean it, and I need you to mean it. Don't you understand?" she asked, starting to get frustrated. Did he really need her to spell it out for him? "I'm not going to be magically better in the next two minutes, and… and you need to focus on your _actual_ girlfriend."

She felt guilty when she saw his shoulders tense up, but if she was being plagued by her conscience then so would he. _God,_ she'd barely even given a thought to Mona over the past week or so that they'd been messing around, not seriously anyway, and now it was all bombarding her at once.

Nathaniel's jaw clenched, his temple twitching slightly. "I don't want to talk about Mona with you," he said, his voice firm but quiet.

Rebecca threw up her arms. "Yeah, well I'm sure she doesn't want you sleeping with women that aren't her!"

He let out his breath in one big burst, taking a few quick steps towards her but thankfully still stopping out of reach. "What am I supposed to do?" he asked in frustration, and she felt a stab of nervousness at the sudden desperation in his eyes. "I can't get you out of my head. I _clearly_ can't stay away from you." Huffing a laugh that was all bitterness, he turned away from her, pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and his forefinger. When he turned back to her, he appeared calmer – well, slightly. He looked down at her helplessly. "But you don't want to be with me – no, I know," he said, talking over her as she tried to protest. "Can't be with anyone right now. And I get that now Rebecca, I honestly do. So… she gives me that."

He looked away as he said it, as though he couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes, and she got it, oh yeah she did. If she was feeling guilty then damn right, he should feel it twofold. "That's not right, Nathaniel," she pointed out. "Not while we're doing this. _This_ ," she said, gesturing between them until he reluctantly raised his eyes to meet hers again, "isn't just a one last time thing. It wasn't last time, and it wasn't the time before that. You know what I did today? I took that damned file from Paula knowing I could make someone else do it, went all the way home and put on my sexy underwear knowing that I was only going to take it off, and then walked up to your stupid door knowing full well that we'd be having sex within two minutes. How many more times is it going to happen? This is not fair, not to you, not to me, and especially not to Mona."

"Do you think I don't know that?" he asked angrily, taking the few steps to close the distance between them, forcing her to tilt her head back to look at him. "Do you think I haven't tried to stop?" He tilted his head, his brow smoothing as his anger faded suddenly. He sighed heavily. "I can't quit you," he said softly, reaching up to brush her wet hair back from her face.

She wanted him to, so badly. Wanted him to cup her face and kiss her and hold her and never let her go. Instead, she leaned back just before he touched her, and he got the hint, slowly letting his hand drop. "You have to," she said with all of the strength she had, which was to say very little at all, so her voice came out firm but quiet. Dropping her eyes to the ground, she took a deep breath and stepped past him, grabbing her purse from where she'd tossed it beside the door, and walking out of the apartment.

Closing her eyes, Rebecca took a long, deep breath as she waited for the elevator doors to open, willing them to take an extra second, just one, so she'd have one extra moment to prepare herself for the day.

It was Monday morning. The worst kind of Monday morning. She'd had a terrible sleep the night before, the line at the coffee cart had been insanely long, and now she was rocking up to work late. At least the only person to chastise her for it was herself so, yep, check that off the list of things to do this morning.

She paused at a few desks on her way to her office, torn between not wanting to talk to anyone and wanting to put off talking to Nathaniel for as long as possible. Unsurprisingly, he was already at his desk and at work when she eventually forced herself to go inside. Surprisingly, he looked up at her and smiled when she put her bag on the desk. "Morning," he said pleasantly.

Frowning uncertainly, she sank into her chair. This wasn't the awkward or tense mood she'd expected after she'd practically broken up with him for the second time. "Morning," she said carefully.

He pushed his chair back from his desk. "Want a coffee? I was just about to make one."

Smiling at him tensely, she lifted the take away cup she'd brought with her. "I'm all set."

Nodding, he took his mug and stepped out of the office. When she caught herself staring after him, Rebecca gave herself a shake and turned back to her desk, starting up her laptop and logging in absent-mindedly. That was… strange. She got the point, that he was putting their fling behind him, sure, fine, but she couldn't help but feel a little bit hurt that it seemed so easy for him.

 _This is what you wanted,_ she reminded herself, and straightened her shoulders. If he could be civil and polite and not weird, then so could she. When he came back into the office and took his seat, she closed her laptop half way. "How was the rest of your weekend?" she asked cheerfully.

"Oh, you know. It was fine." He took a long drink from his coffee and then turned to his laptop. "Mona and I broke up," he said casually.

Rebecca blinked, slowly leaning back in her chair. He… he and Mona… "Oh," she said quietly, unable to articulate anything more complicated than that.

She didn't even know how she felt about it.

Well, she knew how she _felt_ about it, but she didn't know how she wanted to feel about it, or how she should feel about it, or really what she was supposed to be thinking at all.

Nathaniel seemed completely oblivious to the new internal conflict going on inside her. "You were right," he continued, looking at her straight on. "It wasn't fair on Mona. And even if we stopped doing –" he paused, waving his hand between them "-whatever this was, it's not fair for me to feel how I feel about you, and still be with her."

Rebecca looked down at her lap uncomfortably, twisting her hands together. He said it so plainly, so clearly, like it was nothing for him to just spill his feelings like that. "That's… that's a smart decision, Nathaniel, but it doesn't mean –"

"I know," he said quickly, and she raised her eyes just in time to see him look away from her. After a moment he looked up at her reluctantly. "I know it doesn't change anything for you. I didn't break up with her for you. I did it for her. And for me."

Silence fell between them, and she stared blankly at her computer screen without seeing it, wondering if it felt as stifling for him as it did for her. She sorted through her thoughts until she found something genuine that didn't have anything to do with whether it was good for her or not that Nathaniel was now single. The thing was, it was good for _him._ She was fairly confident that the man she'd first met wouldn't have broken off a relationship with someone because it was the right thing to do, although to be fair, she couldn't see that person in a relationship with anyone, ever.

Nathaniel – stone-cold, evil, elitist, Slytherin Nathaniel – had done something difficult, because he'd known they all deserved better than that.

She cleared her throat, slowly raising her eyes to meet his. If he could be brave, then she could too. "Do you think we could try to be friends? For real this time." As she said it, she realised just how important it was to her. "At least for while I'm trying to be better."

Nathaniel raised his eyebrows, tilting his head slightly. "And then?" he said carefully.

She didn't want him to wait for her. Well, she did, so badly, but she knew that it wasn't fair to ask it or expect it of him. And yes, his relationship with Mona was over, but she felt a twinge of fear as she thought of him moving on to someone else.

None of that mattered, though. She was focusing on herself, and she wasn't going to let him, and especially the idea of a potential him, get in the way of that.

Rebecca gave him a sad half-smile. "Then we'll see where we are then?" she asked, unable to keep a tiny bit of hope from her voice despite herself.

He smiled at her genuinely for the first time all morning, then nodded firmly. "Deal." Standing up, he walked around to her side of the desk and reached out his hand. Without thinking she reached out and shook it, and as one they froze, glancing to Nathaniel's side of the desk and then back at each other. Rebecca felt her face heating as she remembered the mirror image of this moment, barely a week ago, and saw that same memory playing across his face. His hand tightened on hers and she squeezed it back in reflex, biting down on her lip as she watched him swallow hard.

The spell was broken by Darryl calling out a greeting from the main office, and they sprang away from each other, Nathaniel jumping away from her as she pushed her chair backwards. Suddenly unable to look at him, she wheeled her chair back up to her desk and opened her laptop again, definitely not watching him out of the corner of her eye as he jumped back to his side of the room and sat behind his desk.

She wasn't going to think about how this might have ended if the office hadn't been full of people. "Maybe we should keep the rules," she mumbled.

"Yep." Clearing his throat, he tugged on his tie and shuffled some files around on his desk.

"Just until we get used to it," she added quickly.

"Mhmm."

This was going to be hard work.


End file.
